


Nothing

by DSFanwriter



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 08:10:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15408705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DSFanwriter/pseuds/DSFanwriter
Summary: Sometimes your life is just empty and broken.





	Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after hearing the Scripts' song "Nothing." There are no names in this work so really this could be about anyone you choose it to be about. Maybe that will make it more confusing for you - I hope not. 
> 
> My thanks for making this a much better story goes to Laine and to Geraldine (rose_malmaison). I edited after they did so all further mistakes are mine!

Meaningless sex in a meaningless bathroom in a meaningless bar. It’s over soon enough. The guy leaves and he is left with…nothing. The aches and pains are still there. He is drunk. He knows it. One drink, two drinks too many. Does it really matter? The alcohol did nothing to ease the pain of the loss. God, what a fool he’d been!

He stumbles from the bar out into the chilly, rainy DC night air. He walks along the dark streets, agonizing at his plight. He wants him back. What he wouldn’t give to start over. Please! He falls back against a wall and put the heels of his hands against his eyes, crying out at the pain in his chest, in his heart. How? How did he let this happen? Why? What was he thinking?

Call him. He had to call him, let him know he was sorry, so very sorry. If he can just tell him everything will be alright again; he knows it. He’ll listen. He knows he will. He has to. 

He continues stumbling along the dark, wet street, pulling his cell phone out as he goes. He dials the number. He just needs to talk to him, just needs him to listen. His words are slurred – too much drink – but he tells him, tells him how sorry he is, how he needs him, how he can’t do this without him, how much he loves him. When he finishes there’s…nothing. No sound on the other end. Just nothing. 

He stares at the phone. He suddenly realizes there are tears streaming down his face, mixing with the raining pouring down on him. He looks up as if for the first time realizing where he might be, but not knowing where he is. He looks around, walking in a circle. The pressure is building in his chest. He can’t contain it anymore and it comes out. It comes out in an agonizing scream of anguish. A cry of loss, hurt and remorse. His hands curl into fists at his side as the cry rages on in the dark of night on the deserted city street.

When finally it ends and there is nothing left of him, he falls to the street on his knees. He is exhausted. There is nothing left of him. He knows not how long he stays there feeling nothing, numb to the chill and wet in the air, the numbness in his heart, his head hung down. He is just empty. He has lost it all and there was nothing left going forward. There is no joy. No love. He has destroyed his life. Where does he go from here?

There is a hand on his shoulder, gently pulling him to his feet. He stumbles and he is caught and held upright. He tries to pull away - leave him alone – but the hands hold him gently, restraining, keeping him from going too far, from hurting himself more. The hands are directing, pulling, pushing him towards a destination. Finally he looks up. The tears come back; he’s still drunk. He must be or this would not be happening. He stops.

“Come on,” he says quietly, trying to move him towards the car.

“Why?” he demands. “I…”

“Later,” he’s told, “When we’re dry and warm.”

“No, I can’t…I didn’t…I should never…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he cries, as the tears overflow his blood-shot eyes. “I never meant to hurt you,” he whispers, as he hangs his head in shame. 

Hands reach out to tilt his chin up and gently wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I know,” he hears quietly. “Let’s go,” as the hands gently prod him once more toward the warm, dry vehicle and possible salvation.


End file.
